trshtwns01 (trshtwns01) wrote,

When did this happen?

I would love to know at what point I started building a wall to keep people from getting TOO close to me. I don't let my guard down and I think that gets me lots of 'friends' but not any close friends. Do I just want people to like me, and I don't think they will if they really know me? Or am I scared of losing them, which has always happened in the past, so I keep them at a distance? Whatever the reason, I'm fairly tired of it. I want a friend I can hang out with, without having to have a 'plan'. I want a friend I can talk on the phone to JUST BECAUSE. I want someone that enjoys just hanging out together doing nothing.

I love my husband. I love my kids. I love my friends. I just miss the days of having a really CLOSE friend. Who cares if they eventually move away! At least I would have that time with them. Is this situation an extension of being insulated in my own home? I work from home and rarely leave the house, so there is little opportunity to make new friends. I definately need to clear some things in my life to make things simpler.

Hmmm. I'm not really as depressed as this post made me sound. It's just something that has been on my mind lately.
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