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The World's Most Perfect Mom

It had to happen at some point, but you always think you'll somehow be different.

I COMPLETELY lost it tonight (verbally) with Michael.

To understand, you have to know what the background is. On Monday, I picked up Michael and Matthew from school. Matthew said his tummy hurt, and when we got home, he took himself directly to bed and went to sleep. Three year olds don't just pick themselves up and go to bed unless something is wrong. A couple of hours later, his temp was through the roof. It started staying between 102 and 104. Then he started throwing up. I couldn't keep any fluids in him, couldn't get any medicine in him - even the kind to make him stop throwing up. I took him in to an urgent care place around 11 pm. 'Push fluids at him and give him Tylenol and Motrin'. Umm, thanks. I was doing that anyway. Here's your money. The next day, I took him to his peds doc. They were very concerned as he was still vomiting, no fluids in, very high temp, and hadn't urinated since midnight. We talked on the phone off and on all day, and finally about 6:30 they told me to take him into the emergency room. The ER doc said he was a 'very sick kid', put in an IV and started pushing fluids. He added meds to stop him from throwing up, and took several vials of blood. It came back he had a white blood cell count of _30,000!!!!_ (Normal is about 4000-10000, and a 'normal' high is 12000-14000). They have cultures growing we should know about tomorrow or the next day, but we know he has a 'raging' infection. They did IV fluids, and kept pushing Tylenol and Motrin. We were admitted overnight. His fever finally broke around 3 this morning, and he finally passed urine around 1 am. We came home about 8:30 am with directions that if he vomits again, his temp goes up past 102 or he stops taking in fluids that we are to come back and he'll be admitted for two days.

He seems to be doing great right now - more near his normal, but still goes and rests regularly. BUT, I haven't slept since Sunday night, and I still have to get up every 3 hours to give him meds.

ANYWAY - that's the background. Since I had to take Matthew's temp so often I splurged for a $50 forehead 'roller' type thermometer. It worked really well, was very accurate and quick. Tonight, Michael brought it to me, at my request, and it fell out of his hand. The thing is just loose parts inside now. I screamed that it was very expensive and now was totally useless because he wasn't being careful. I left the room crying - HUGE sobs - and kept screaming to myself. I put him in time out. I then sent him to his room. From the other room, I continued to cry. I hear Matthew telling Michael that he made me sad and he shouldn't have done it.

I did go in to apologize to Michael and tell him that sometimes when people are mad they say things or do things that they know aren't right, and that I should not have yelled at him for something that was an accident. We hugged, and he seems to have gotten past it, but I'm having a hard time. I know that I haven't slept in two days, and have been dealing with a VERY sick child, and doing it all by myself because Scott's been out of town for two weeks. But I really hate that I could lose my temper like that. It just isn't like me.

I don't want my kids to ever be scared of me. EVER.

(I've got the packaging and receipt and I'm going to try to talk to the store tomorrow and see if there is ANYTHING we can do)

EDIT: OH! I forgot the best part. While I was at the doctor with Matthew yesterday, I get a call from Chase Bank saying someone was trying to open a credit card in my name and that they had my social security number, date of birth BUT they were using an address from over six years ago. That's why they flagged it and called me. They gave me the name of the person who was putting themself as an 'additional user' on the card (never heard of the person, and probably isn't his real name, but he probably couldn't pass as a 'Patricia'). They also gave me the numbers and how to get security alerts put on my credit reports from all three major companies, get free copies of all three reports, and get taken off of the list for pre-approved credit applications. I'm going to be a mess until I see those reports because I wonder at the back of my mind how many companies didn't BOTHER to call me or check far enough to see the app was using an older address even though all of the other information was correct.


( 14 thoughts — Whatcha' think? )
Nov. 18th, 2004 02:36 am (UTC)
Hugs sweets
I think the worst thing is when my kids see me upset in general, not at them. I get the maddest when I have to deal with the xwife or the xmil.. those 2 just send me into fumes and make me fill with rage.
Tell the store its broken and you need to exchange it.. Dont give them too many details. Less is good.
Nov. 18th, 2004 02:50 am (UTC)
Re: Hugs sweets
Thanks, Darcy. That's what I'm going to try to do. I have this weird concept of 'expensive'. I wouldn't blink if we spent $50 for dinner. But $50 for a thermometer that I have an expectation of continuing to use over time and I lose it :)

I don't like for the kids to see me raise my voice. I don't like conflict. My mother and I fought all the time growing up - our normal voices were shouts. I also had a very abusive relationship where his temper was barely restrained. I learned to equate yelling or conflict with abuse, instead of healthy displays of anger.
Nov. 18th, 2004 02:52 am (UTC)
Re: Hugs sweets
As soon as I hit 'post' I knew Gene would ding me on this. So, a strike before the blow :)

I don't want the kids to HEAR me yelling. Of couse, they technically would SEE me yelling at the same time, but you KNEW what I meant *laugh*
Nov. 18th, 2004 03:13 pm (UTC)
Re: Hugs sweets
They did me right! I just said it was broken and they asked if I wanted another one.

Nov. 18th, 2004 03:20 am (UTC)
having been a nurse before, i am shocked that the urgent care clinic didnt send him to the emergency room!!!
Nov. 18th, 2004 03:32 am (UTC)
Me too! By the time we went to the emergency room he was so out of it from the dehydration that he barely reacted when they put in the IV. This couldn't have been pleasant for Matthew, and I can't help but think that if more aggressive action had been taken the day before, he might have been spared a little pain. If a three year old presents with a sustained 102-104 temp, vomiting and dehydration, wouldn't you at least draw blood to get a CBC?

I guess it's pretty easy to look back as a non-professional and make judgements.
Nov. 18th, 2004 05:17 pm (UTC)
YES! Dont ever go to that doc in the box again.
Just go to the ER.
Nov. 18th, 2004 04:46 am (UTC)
Oh Trish
God, honey. I am hoping and praying for you and your family. I don't know how you do it when they are well, much less when one is sick and you are worried out of your mind. You guys have had some serious rough patches lately. Your friends love you though. Your family loves you. Hang in there, super mom.

If you need to blow off steam we can make new characters and go play heroes together!! :)
Nov. 18th, 2004 02:35 pm (UTC)
Re: Oh Trish
Yeah, Matthew is always a challenge. Michael rarely gets sick (instead he does things like swallowing batteries *laugh*). Matthew has always had a bit less of an immune system since birth.

He was doing SOOO much better yesterday after all of the fluids in the hospital. He had his color back and lots of energy. He was drinking fluids. He peed before bed about 8:00. Well, when he woke up this morning at 7:00 - he hadn't peed all night. His color is pale again, and now he's got diarreah. We've got another doctor's appt at 10:30, so I'll let you know how that goes. I'm hoping it isn't back to the hospital. :(
Nov. 18th, 2004 04:48 am (UTC)
Just when you get a minute...
Please pass on the info you rec'd regarding your credit and identity theft. That scares the bejeesus out of me. I need to do thos ethings too.
Nov. 18th, 2004 02:32 pm (UTC)
Sure! The number they gave me was for Experian (used to be TRW). If you call 888-397-3742 you can choose the automated system to put a security alert on your credit report. When you do that, they will give you a confirmation number, and in 10 days you should get a free report so you can look over to make sure nothing else incorrect is on it. You also have an option to remove your name from pre-authorized credit lists.

You only have to contact one company, because Experian will also work with Transunion and Equifax to put a security alert on those reports. You should then get seperate confirmation numbers from those companies and get free reports to check what they have.

Then, if there is something on there that isn't yours, you get to go through the trouble of contacting those creditors to tell them it is fraudulant, having them close the account and putting a victim's report on your credit report. Big news - they will NOT 'remove' that listing from your credit. It stays, with just a note from you that it was fraudulant.
Nov. 19th, 2004 07:36 am (UTC)
eeek! (re: Matthew's illness) AND the attempted identity theft!

As to the $50 thermometer (although you didn't need it this time) many credit cards have a kind of insurance against breakage, etc. I've never used it, but probably should pay attention to which of my cards have that kind of coverage. They each have some cute Marketing Name™ for that

i use one credit card almost exclusively, except for gasoline (I use a different card which has a 5% discount for gas purchases).
Nov. 19th, 2004 02:33 pm (UTC)
I'm thinking about selling some stock and paying off my credit cards and just keeping one for emergency purposes. I'm tired of being in debt to those people, but I'll have to relearn restraint and saving for things I want instead of instant gratification.
Nov. 19th, 2004 03:41 pm (UTC)
stuff !
I got out of the (bad!) habit of running a balance on my credit cards .. years ago. i haven't paid any credit card interest in .. oh, 15+ years.

discipline? yep. there was a time, in my oh-so-foolish youth, where i didn't have no discipline and bought lots of stuff on a whim, thinking i would be a gooder person if i had lots of stuff. then (one memorable day), i noticed that most of my stuff sitting on a shelf, collected dust, and eventually wound up in a trash bin somewhere. it didn't do me no good exceptin' that it occupied space.

now, i concentrate much less on having stuff than on having fewer items of good stuff. which reminds me .. it's time to clean Fibber McGee's closet (way too many electronic parts, from years gone by).
( 14 thoughts — Whatcha' think? )