I think I have to be Supermom. The house has to be clean, I've got to do the dishes, I have to do the laundry, I have to get together some fabric remnants from the bottom of the closet, I have to start taking my kids to and from school, I have to run to the store to pick up my own prescriptions. A little bit of discomfort won't stop me. It isn't real PAIN anymore, and the more you do, the stronger you get! Right?
Today I ran the kids to school and then stopped at McDonald's to get breakfast. I stayed on the couch a little while after coming home, but then traversed upstairs in search of fabric remnants and sewing supplies. They were at the bottom of a closet, under some old crib pieces, so I just snaked my arm in to try to feel for them, and then pull them out. I spent about 10 minutes doing this. When I stood up, something felt funny. I ran into the bathroom and saw that I had fluid all over myself. Soaked through all of my clothes. I smelled it (yes, go EEEEWWWW now) and it doesn't smell like an infection, or really have much of any smell at all. Just a brownish-red color. I had Scott go get me some new clothes, and rummaged to find a pad in the drawers upstairs. I, of course, immediately came down and got back on the couch.
Damn it! Why can't I just listen to the damn doctors? Why can't I let others take care of me? I have another month of this crap and I'm already so stir crazy two weeks out that I've pushed myself too far. Scott's worry is that maybe I busted a stitch inside (the external stitches look fine). We'll see if I keep with the discharge and if I do, we'll head down to Dr. Schorge's office to get things checked out. I'm praying that maybe it was a one-time thing - something from the surgery that just finally worked its way out.
Fuck. Someone come strap me to this damn couch.
On a brighter note, one of my AMAMOM (Allen/McKinney Mothers of Multiples club) friends is bringing me lunch on Saturday and going to sit with me for a while. She also wants to talk because she will be having a hysterectomy soon and would like to know what to expect.
I also had a very interesting call with someone I barely know yesterday. This girl called the day I got home from the hospital to see if I needed to reorder any cooking products from her (she didn't know I was having surgery. We don't know each other outside of that one party). I blew her off. She called back yesterday and I was almost snappy with her because I said I wouldn't be cooking for a while and wasn't interested in ordering anything else until sometime next year. It wasn't why she called. She wanted to see how I was doing. When I told her I had a hysterectomy, we got to talking because it is something her doctor had recommended because of endometrial issues. I said something about my upcoming mastectomy and DIEP reconstruction, only to find out her mother had it done within the past year. We ended up talking quite a while. At the end of the call, we decided that sometimes fate puts two people together at the right time in the most mysterious ways. She's going to call me back every few weeks just to talk and see how things are going, and maybe have her mother call me as well.
There are times, stuck in this house, where I feel that I don't really have any close friends. All of the ones I consider closest to my heart live so far away. Then, when you are really in need, even though it kills you to be dependent on ANYONE, people come out of the woodwork and show you just how great they can be. Even if they aren't around that often, they do love you and would do anything to help you out. I think I'm going to make myself cry. I'm sure this is setting me up for a breakdown for whatever georgiaskydiver says should happen today.
For all of you who have contributed in any way, even with just a kind word of encouragement - THANK YOU!!!! You really have made this a bit easier for me to deal with, and kept me in fine spirits.
Now, to snuggle up on the couch and will my body to be ok. Maybe listen to some new tunes on the iPod since there isn't anything on TIVO.