December 4th, 2006

BRCA

The week before

Today I went for my pre-op plastic surgery visit. I was looking forward to this one, because I would find out exactly what they think my breasts and abdomen will look like post-surgery.

Of COURSE, nothing went the way I thought it would. First, he takes a big blue Sharpie marker and uses my torso as a living white board. He made a lemon-wedge drawing on my belly where he will be removing that section. It's pretty big. I knew it would be, yet I guess that made it real. He measured from breast to breast, nipple to belly button, belly button to neck, nipple to neck, neck to midsection, and just about every other conceivable measurement. Wrote down all of the measurements ON me.

Then they took pictures. I asked if I could get copies of all of the pictures they have been taking and will continue to take, once this is all over, and they said yes. Quite the scrapbook this will make.

I was happy to learn that they can make my breasts a bit smaller, give them a lift to make them 'perky and youthful', and will be taking ALL of the fat from my belly even though they won't be using all of it.

I can't believe the surgery is next week.

On that note, I need to go shower with alcohol (unfortunately, not the drinking kind) to get these Sharpie markings off my body.

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Honesty time: I'm scared shitless. My brave face and jokes only take me so far and make those around me feel more comfortable. Doesn't help me on the inside.