March 3rd, 2006

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Reality sets in

Today, I am SOOOOO stressed. I'm at the end of my rope.

The home health nurse went to see my mom today around noon. She called me soon thereafter with some distressing news - She was concerned about my mom's dementia, as well as her blood pressure and diabetes being out of control, but the most distressing was that my mom couldn't tell her what medicines she was taking. The nurse called my mom's pharmacy and they gave the list of meds, but the last time she had anything filled was in OCTOBER!!!! She's not been taking her meds, or if she has, very sporadically. She says my mom can no longer stay alone, and can no longer drive. She needs immediate care to evaluate her, get her on the right meds, and back stable. Then she should go into assisted living.

There are problems here! It's Friday afternoon! Needless to say, I packed up mom to bring her over here for the weekend. She JUST moved into a new apartment (at least that means we don't have to repack). I don't know what's going on with her! She's falling, she gets lost, she can't remember, and I don't know what to do.

We went to tour the assisted living place the nurse recommended, and it was really nice. It's one of the more affordable ones, actually. Problem is, it isn't affordable for her. Let's see, to be eligible for VA benefits, she would have to make less than $2000 a month. She makes $2100. The smallest room in the place is $1850 a month. That does include three meals a day, housekeeping, laundry, etc. We could also have meds given to her for a small daily fee. That leaves less than $200. Her insurance payment is $100 a month, and she spends $195 on meds. That puts her in the hole, and she hasn't yet looked at any other expenses.

I don't fucking know what to do. I love my mom, but we don't get along. I think we would all be miserable with her living here, but we'll do it if we have to. I've got to find SOME WAY to afford an assisted living place for her.

On the brighter side (although, REALLY, how much brighter is this?) we did complete the Durable Power of Attorney, Medical Power of Attorney, and Living will for her today. Notorized, witnessed, and only lacking them to be filed with the courthouse. At least I can now make some of these decisions for her since she won't make them for herself.

I'll say it again - FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK