My mother has been packing her apartment up in preparation for a move into a senior community. I think this is a really good move, because it will get her around people her own age, she will make friends, and there are always plenty of activities going on. Her health keeps going downhill, and they offer some services (such as a nurse that will come in each day if your doctor says you need it, and they have it set up where Medicare pays for all of it) that I think will benefit her. I want to start out by saying that I love my mom.
This weekend - I FUCKING HATE HER!!!!!
She told me she was pretty much done packing. She had me call to book movers, and she gave me a list of the items they would need to move. It was only a small amount, as she had 'gotten rid of' quite a lot of stuff. She told me she had been throwing things out or giving them away. The movers were due to come over at 8 am on Saturday morning and I showed up around 7:45. She doesn't have to be out of the apartment until Tuesday, so we knew that gave us Saturday to move and Sunday to clean.
It was pouring down rain. Of course. We were going to let the movers get their stuff and put the rest in my car. My mom picked up a small box of pictures to take out to my car. I heard a huge crash and ran outside to find my mother laying on the sidewalk, surrounded by blood and holding her head. She had either tripped or her leg gave out on her (she is awaiting double knee replacement) and she fell to the sidewalk. I got a cold compress on her head, and had her sit down. My husband came over with the kids and took mom to the emergency room, while I waited on the movers and continued to pack my car. I can't tell you how bad it made me feel as every time I went to the car I had to pass the puddle of blood that was slowly being washed away by the rain.
We got everything packed, and made the trip over to the new apartment. I helped direct the movers, and unloaded my van by myself. Then I went to the hospital to let Scott and the kids go home to eat lunch. She had two 'holes' in her forehead that they were able to just superglue together. She bruised her ribs and her leg. The CT scan and X-rays showed no additional problems. They released her on the promise she would stay with us that night and we would call if she got confused. Ummm, my mom is ALWAYS confused!!!! We found out at the hospital that her diabetes was out of control and she had not been taking her medicine, her blood pressure was up and she hasn't been taking that medicine, and she kept lying to the doctors about things, that my husband and I had to correct for the doctor.
Here's mom after coming home:
This is sad, right? Why would I hate my mom? I should feel sorry for her, right? Well, I do, but there are other circumstances.
She didn't leave money for the movers so I had to pay them. Her apartment was a MESS! FILTHY! I scrubbed the laundry room, scrubbed the kitchen, where I discovered cabinets that hadn't been emptied and a full dishwasher. A mop wasn't touching the floors, so I had to scrub them on my hands and knees. I took a BUNCH of stuff out of the bathroom and scrubbed it completely. I opened the hall closet, which had a bunch of crap in it. I went into her bedroom, where there were boxes and unpacked stuff spread everywhere. I opened the walk-in closet and it was completely full, and even had a six drawer chest in it. The counters in the living room were covered with stuff. There were two dining room chairs sitting around, piled with things. Here is what the living room looked like:
I had plans Saturday night I was NOT going to miss, so we picked things back up Sunday. I told my mom to PACK HER SHIT while I continued cleaning her apartment. I moved everything out into the living room so the rest of the apartment was bare and ready to be cleaned. It also gave us a better idea of what was needed to move. While she should have been packing, she was either sitting down (granted, she had quite a fall the day before), going through her stuff, reading things, or telling stories about each of the items. We filled up my car again full of stuff, and took it to the new place. Where we park, you go through an arch into an atrium, turn right and walk to the end of the garden (maybe 50 feet), turn left, and you are at her apartment. It is STRAIGHT catty-corner across from where you enter. We started making trips from the car to the apartment. Mom kept disappearing and I wouldn't see her between the car and her apartment. She ended up wandering around the complex because she made a wrong turn somewhere. Not just once - FOUR TIMES!!!! She got lost FOUR TIMES, despite me showing her the path and how easy it was after each time she got lost. I would guess we got done about 8:30 Sunday night. By this time, my back is on FIRE, my tailbone hurts like a bitch, the knee I had surgery on last month is screaming at me, and I'm in a pissy mood thanks to my mom. The whole time we're doing this and I'm busting my ass to help her get out of her apartment, she keeps going on Jewish mom on me (no, we aren't Jewish). 'Oh, you should just let me do that' 'Don't worry about all of these things, I can pack them in my car by myself tomorrow' 'You look so tired, you should just go home and rest'. Hello? Gaping head wound? Bruised ribs? Weak and bruised knees? Who the hell else was going to do this for you?
I told my mom to spend the next morning packing up her car with little stuff and I went home to take pain killers. I called her at around lunch to tell her that if she would come over when the kids got out of school, Scott and I would go finish moving her. She agreed, but then called at 1:45 (we go to pick up the kids just after 2) saying that her car wouldn't start. No problem, Mom, I'll just come pick you up. Umm, she was out at the CVS drug store. By the time I get there, she has the car started (NO idea why it wouldn't start. No other problems all day), so I just had her take it home in case there were more problems. I looked in the car and it was empty. I asked if she had filled the trunk and she said she never got around to it.
When I walked into the apartment, I noticed the lights didn't work. Remember, she has a FULL fridge and freezer of food. She told me at first that it was cut off a day early. She then admitted that it was cut off for non payment. The apartment complex said she had to get it turned back on that day or they would make her pay for a new fridge because the food would cause a smell. I called the power company, and she owed for THREE MONTHS. There was also a $70 reconnection fee. This is just for 24 hours of power, because it goes back to the apartment. Grrrr. My mom is always 'forgetting' to pay bills. She has a cell phone now on our account, because her phone got cut off for nonpayment.
I dropped mom at our house and got the kids. Scott and I went and got just about EVERYTHING out of the apartment and into the new one. We left her with her toiletries, a change of clothes, the cleaning supplies, the dishes in the dishwasher and the food in the fridge. Mom had given me an antique curio cabinet she wouldn't have room for, and we found that it wouldn't fit in my van. The power came back on, so while Scott went to rent a truck, I vacuumed, cleaned, and straightened the few things left in the apartment.
I've told mom she is on her own tomorrow to get the rest of the stuff out of the apartment and over to the new place. I'm DONE with her. DONE. She makes me crazy with her lying, 'forgetting' to pay things, passive-aggressive behavior, and other things. I will be so glad when this move is completely DONE!
I love my mom, but she makes me INSANE!!!!!
She has a doctor's appointment tomorrow, and Scott has asked me to try to go with her if I can, because we know she lies to her doctor's as well.
I did this negative post first, because I want to end with my next post, which is great :)