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I am a zombie. At least that is how my husband describes it. Because I haven't been talking to him much about how depressed I have been, he thinks my lack of motivation is because of the medicine. The Zoloft did decrease my anxiety, but it hasn't seemed to touch the depression. Went to see the shrinker today and he upped the dose - 150mg for the next few weeks, see if there is a difference, if not go to 200mg. We'll see how that goes. On a good note, the clenching of my teeth is a side effect of the Zoloft. NOT a new nervous habit.

I haven't done ANYTHING during this break from work other than make sure the kids don't kill themselves, and sit in my nest. My nest has grown recently - I added another table and a reading lamp. I can now kick back in my recliner, with a heating pad on my back, my left leg raised to elevate my knee, my laptop on my lap, a soda on the table next to me, watching something on the 65" HDTV. Ahhh, too bad I have to leave this chair at any time.

Yay. My Matthew came to snuggle with me. Must go now and get kisses. You have to take them when you can get them from Matthew. :)

Please send motivation and laughter my way.


( 13 thoughts — Whatcha' think? )
Dec. 31st, 2005 12:51 am (UTC)
You have a 65" tv? I am so coming to live with you.

::sending love and motivation and laughter your way!!::

Lucky woman. With your laptop and big ass tv.
Dec. 31st, 2005 01:17 am (UTC)
Oh, that's the 65" HDTV for me and the kids. Up in my husband's home theater he has a 65" HDTV that is way better quality than mine. :) Yes, we have two. We're electronically spoiled in this house. Both have HD TIVOs as well. We also have computers out the wazoo around here. Two laptops in the living room, a big computer in the formal living room (which is actually a playroom) for the kids, my office has two PCs and a Sun Ray, and Scott's office has three PCs and a Sun Blade 100. We're geeks.

Hey - as long as the TV is the only thing 'big ass' with me sitting here like a vegetable :)
Jan. 1st, 2006 09:22 am (UTC)
Some people are just so lucky ... And for some reason I think I'll never be one of them. We still have the 27" Magnavox (spelling?) we've had since I was teeny tiny. We're poor, you see, and can't afford nice things. I suppose this is the reason why I don't have a baby yet.
We only have one computer, and it's a piece of shit.
My mom has an old tv from the 80's that still works pretty well. I think the newest thing in this house is my hi8 camcorder. Hah. And even that will be obsolete one of these days ...

What's a Sun Ray? And a Sun Blade? I'll admit, sometimes I can be a geek too, but this time, I'm stumped. :\
Jan. 1st, 2006 05:34 pm (UTC)
Aren't you a lot younger than I am though?

Just 10 years ago, my husband and I were BROKE. We had to borrow money to move from New Orleans to Dallas. We both lived on less than 30K for a long time, eating beans and rice :) We got lucky, and worked hard, and after several years here in Dallas worked our way up in our computer careers.

A Sun Ray and Sun Blade are two of the computers sold by the company I work for - Sun Microsystems. Sun is known for higher end computers (think engineering, medical research, things like that) rather than for personal computers. Sun Rays are cool - just a small box, and everything resides on the central server. You put in a card, and it brings up your session exactly as you left it. The same windows are up, you are where you left off in a program, etc. The really cool thing is that your card can be put into ANY Sun Ray on the network and your session will come up. It's good for places where you have lots of employees, but don't need a dedicated computer for each of them. Instead, you have a system for each of them while they are working, and they can be on any system.

Ok, I've gone into more of a commercial than an explanation. :) More info than you were looking for, but I think they are cool.
Jan. 1st, 2006 09:07 pm (UTC)
Actually, that was a very detailed explanation and I appreciate that, since most people think that when I ask what something is, I want it in Laymans' terms.
And I think I am considerably younger than you, but still, I'd like to be established in my career before I'm thirty. Although, technically I don't HAVE a career yet ... I'm just very worried that when Joey and I are finally able to get married, we won't be as financially well off as I'd like to be. He wants all these things, and I want all these things, and we want to be able to give our children everything they want and I'm scared that I won't be able to do it.
I'm sorry. I rambled. Pfft. :\
Jan. 1st, 2006 10:58 pm (UTC)
When I was 20, I wasn't working with computers. Just playing on them. At that point, I was going to Auburn for Art History and working as a custom framer. Then after moving to New Orleans, I worked in a casino for three years. Only after moving here to Dallas when I was 25 did I start getting into computers, in an entry level position. I was fairly established by 30. Had the two boys at 31.

Probably because we were so damn poor for so long (prior to moving to Dallas, I made a whopping 19K top annual salary in my life) we spoil ourselves and our kids silly. Christmas was insane. I wish I could hold back, but I just haven't learned that yet. I'm a sucker for giving them just about anything they want. *laugh*

You have plenty of time, just work hard and stay focused. Experiment to find what things you really like, and when you find an area you really like, you can work to find your niche in that area.
Dec. 31st, 2005 06:54 am (UTC)
bad joke warning

do you know what worse that a small penis???

A watermelon!
Dec. 31st, 2005 05:03 pm (UTC)

I hope your party went well! Wish I was in town to join you guys.

Happy Happy Happy New Year
Dec. 31st, 2005 06:29 pm (UTC)
It went fabulously! I'll be posting about it in the near future.

and Happy New Year to you too!
Dec. 31st, 2005 08:03 pm (UTC)
Woohoo! I want a nest like that! Awesome! Will you be watching the big game on Monday from that nest? ;)

Waaaar Eagle!

Ain't Zoloft grand?? I swear, if someone could just come up with a antidepressant without all the crappy side effects that go with all of them, that person would be a very wealthy man/woman!! Wish I knew how to do it!

***sending lots of motivation and hugs your way***
Jan. 1st, 2006 05:33 am (UTC)
I swear, if someone could just come up with a antidepressant without all the crappy side effects that go with all of them, that person would be a very wealthy man/woman!! Wish I knew how to do it!

I'd drink to that.

One of our friends is coming off Effexor and keeps marveling that she didn't even notice her libido had disappeared while she was on it.
Jan. 1st, 2006 06:17 am (UTC)
Gads, Effexor was the worst coming off of it. I had to take it short term a few years back after a trauma, and coming off I had brain shakes. I would move my head, then stop but it felt like my brain kept moving. Very unsettling. :)
Jan. 1st, 2006 06:17 am (UTC)
Oh, I've got it on TIVO. I'll probably have it in the background while I'm working.
( 13 thoughts — Whatcha' think? )