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Life update

I haven't been posting much lately. I have no motivation AT ALL. Yesterday was psych day. Doc said that I've just been on the therapeutic dose for just over a week, and we've already seen such improvement in my anxiety levels - I should see more improvement after being on the full dose for at least three weeks. I go back in four weeks and we'll see if I need an increase.

While my anxiety and irratability has decreased, I have lost all motivation. I just can't get myself to do anything. I want to just sit around and do nothing. I can't focus on anything for very long. I can't get excited about anything - not even Christmas. My mom and Scott keep asking what I want for Christmas and I can't think of a thing. We set up the Christmas lights and trimmed the tree on Sunday. I didn't enjoy it. I'm postponing work, even easy work. I promised my best friend I would do some research for her on setting up a commerce web site, and I can't bring myself to do it.

To top it off, my back has been hurting the last few days, so I'm spending a lot of time on a heating pad.

Even though I'm bitching, I'll take lack of motivation over the psychotic episodes I was having. I'm now sleeping. I don't snap at people. I don't feel like my world is collapsing. It's all going to get better - it just takes time.

Doesn't mean I can't still bitch about it :)


( 7 thoughts — Whatcha' think? )
Nov. 29th, 2005 04:58 pm (UTC)
Wow. Sounds like a mirror on my own life. When I went back and told my shrink, he added Adderall to the mix. I'm only about a week into it, but it really has helped my energy and motivation levels.

Hang in there. Many of these drugs take several weeks to completely alter the chemicals in our brains. (scary thought, isn't it?) But with the right doses and in the right combinations they really can work.

I have to believe that. I'm still waiting for it to happen . . .
Nov. 29th, 2005 05:17 pm (UTC)

I had a similar experience with some of my anti anxiety meds. Once I Got more used to them I got some motivation back.
Dec. 1st, 2005 04:14 am (UTC)
I certainly hope so.

Now I've got to go find out why I'm no longer getting notification on many of my posts and comments.
Dec. 1st, 2005 09:21 am (UTC)
Because LJ is screwed up. It has been going on for well over a week now,
Nov. 30th, 2005 01:22 am (UTC)
I'm glad things are improving and hope your motivation returns soon.

Would some surplus exclamation points help? Laurel's writing is starting to look a lot like Woodstock's dialogue in Peanuts cartoons.
Nov. 30th, 2005 01:34 am (UTC)
It does take quite a while for those types of meds to kick in and stabilize. I've certainly been there before, myself!

I'll try to cheer you up. Over here in "Bama" land, everyone is still bitching because our coach held up 4 fingers after the big win weekend before last. They say it was classless. Huh? What did they want him to do? Clap politely? Anyway, the big thing now for us Auburn fans is to flash 4 fingers at Bama fans whenever we can. Today, a lovely Bama fan in a flashy white car with her lovely red and white Bama tag was riding my bumper me for at least 5 miles. There was a giant truck in front of me...I had nowhere to go. When we got on the interstate, she cut me off.....and I flashed four fingers at her while driving my lovely white car with my lovely Auburn alumni tag on the front of it.

You shoulda seen her face. Priceless. :)
Dec. 1st, 2005 04:15 am (UTC)
*laugh* Priceless.

My last alumni tag cover got broken and I bought a new one last time I went home to Huntsville. I've got to get around to putting it on the car.
( 7 thoughts — Whatcha' think? )