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Building relationships

After spending some time documenting how much my mother ANNOYS me, today shows me that there is still a bond there. My mother came in today from her visit with an orthopedic surgeon. She needs BOTH knees replaced. She'll spend 4 days in the hospital. Since she lives alone, she'll need to live at the rehab center for 4-6 weeks. While she could have one done, then the other, and have a bit more mobility, we are leaning towards (and the doctor recommended) just getting them both done and getting it over with. I'll push her in a damn wheelchair for a while if I need to.

Here was the order of my thoughts:

1) Oh God! That's pretty major surgery. Oh no!

2) There goes our free babysitter! What are we going to do about childcare for a few months? (Should I feel bad that was my second thought?)

3) Like hell she'll live 1-2 months in the rehab facility. She'll go there a couple of weeks then come live with us. We can set up a twin bed in the formal living room so she doesn't have to walk the stairs, and she'll live with us.

4) I need to get her on the phone with my mother-in-law, because she just had a knee replaced a couple of months ago.

We don't know when she'll have the surgery, but I'm pushing her to go ahead and get it over with. However, I told her she's going to have to make a decision for herself. I'm not going to make one for her this time. She did her submissive thing and wanted me to tell her when it was most convenient for ME for her to have surgery. That I should just pick a date and that's when she'll have it. Told her nope, I can't make medical decisions like that for her - it's her life, and we'll build our schedules around what SHE needs to get better.

(And YES, I feel really bad that my second thought was about ME!)


( 9 thoughts — Whatcha' think? )
Oct. 6th, 2005 02:53 am (UTC)
LOL! At least you have childcare at some point! Even if I lived in the same town with my mother, I doubt she would babysit.
Oct. 6th, 2005 04:10 am (UTC)
Beta (the wonder dog) wants to know if she can babysit.
Oct. 6th, 2005 01:01 pm (UTC)
I'm sure she would be fun! But can she dial 911 if needed?
Oct. 6th, 2005 01:18 pm (UTC)
I'll begin her "dial 9-1-1" training immediately. I suspect that it'll be a challenge with the wireless phones, since her "hands" (paws) are a bit large to press those tiny buttons. She'll have less of a problem with the wired phones, which have that [SPEAKERPHONE] feature.

Lemme get back to you on that ...
Oct. 6th, 2005 05:34 am (UTC)
Don't feel bad
It wasn't a selfish thought...it was a thought out of the love for your children. There is nothing wrong with worrying about your children and wanting to be sure that the person looking after them loves them and has their best interests at heart...and that is what this seems like to me.
Don't be hard on yourself, thought 3 should negate any concern you have of selfishness, it's not easy to turn your life upside down and care for someone recuperating from major surgery, and the fact that you aren't putting any date constraints on it just reinforces that fact.
Oct. 6th, 2005 06:52 am (UTC)
You shouldn't feel bad about your second thought being you. This requires a great adjustment from you as well, and if you don't thinka bout that then the whole thing can turn into a disaster!
Oct. 6th, 2005 09:05 pm (UTC)
My mom watches my daughter for me after school when I'm at work! And my second thought would probably also be, "Oh no! No babysitter!"...followed by "I feel so selfish for thinking that!" :-P You are not alone!

My mother-in-law has had both hips and both knees replaced. But, she did all 4 surgeries separately. This is so that she could draw out as much attention from the family, etc. as possible. Uh oh....better not get started on her.... She did great with the surgery though. Rehab's tough, so you'll have to stay on her about it!
Oct. 7th, 2005 12:21 am (UTC)
Vogon's dad had both knees replaced at once. He said it was *much* easier to combine the recovery and rehab time that way.
Oct. 8th, 2005 01:36 am (UTC)
How long did it take for recovery - until he felt sure of himself again? Also how old was he when he had it done?
( 9 thoughts — Whatcha' think? )