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Charity

I feel SOOOO embarrassed!!!!!!

One of the other members of my Mothers of Multiples group was also in the hospital getting breast reconstruction after mastectomy at the same time I was. We talked a visited a lot because we were only two doors away from each other. We have taken to calling each other every few days to see how the other is doing, complain about things and just generally chat. When I was on the phone with her a couple of days ago, I mentioned Scott going out of town on Monday and being gone 2 weeks. She said she was lucky that she had her husband there to help her (her twin boys are 4 years old). I said I would call her in a few days to talk again.

Last night, I got an email which went out to ALL of our Mothers of Multiples club. Evidently, she had been talking with our current president and mentioned that she didn't know HOW I was going to manage alone with the boys just 3 weeks out of major surgeries. So, the president sends an email out to the WHOLE CLUB telling them I am going to be alone with the kids, still not up to par, blah, blah, blah and for them to rally around me to do things like meals, running the kids places, laundry, cleaning, whatever.

How freaking embarrassing! I feel like some sort of charity case. I never would have asked for this. I don't like to be in a position where I need help from another person. If nobody came to help me out, I would find a way to manage. I will ask my husband or kids to do stuff for me. Even occassionally my mom. My friends grudgingly. People I barely know? Never. I do really appreciate what they are trying to do, but it really makes me feel like I am helpless.

Comments

( 5 thoughts — Whatcha' think? )
rexs_wife
Jan. 12th, 2007 11:05 pm (UTC)
LOL..sounds like you don't have much of a choice. You have a group of people that really care. That's not easy to find. I hope you consider accepting some help, cause I know you're pushing yourself to hard.
babymine
Jan. 12th, 2007 11:54 pm (UTC)
Be greatful, count it as a blessing and know that you are not a charity case, but a woman who has undergone a huge ordeal, needs time to heal properly so you can be at your best for your kids and for crying out loud.. get your butt some good rest.
People do not give of themselves to undeserving individuals. You have done something wonderful for these mothers to know you are deserving of this help. Just a reminder that no good deed goes undone, and this is thier way of giving back. I can't imagine you not being there for someone else if they were in your shoes.. well if you could I mean.
maedb
Jan. 13th, 2007 12:41 am (UTC)
I know how you feel. Truly I do. However, you're stuck with it. These people seem to give a damn about you and how you're doing. So maybe figure out a way to change your thinking. Ummm... opportunities for them to come and visit. Play dates for the babies. Whatever it takes to make you NOT overdo things. You made the decision of opting for life, so it would be a shame if you killed yourself trying to do it all yourself, yanno?

(also - if you'd asked, they probably wouldn't have rallied like they did)
kathy83
Jan. 13th, 2007 03:51 am (UTC)
Take it and run with it! You may be able to help them out one day in return.
morzsa
Jan. 13th, 2007 02:43 pm (UTC)
My 2 cents:
Swallow hard, smile, say thank you and enjoy the sisterhood that is offered to you through this act. It is not something you wouldn't do to others in your place!

By accepting their help you make them feel good and that is just as important than pffering help to someone who might need it. Looking out for each other is a good thing almost entirely missing in our highly individualised world.
( 5 thoughts — Whatcha' think? )