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One of the 'not so good ones'

Today was one of those days that wasn't so good.

I had an appointment with the plastic surgeon today. We are ready to schedule the mastectomy and reconstruction for early December. Hopefully, I'll have a date on Monday when I go back to the breast cancer oncologist. That will have me a week in the hospital, a week of pure hell at home, and then a couple of struggling weeks during which we'll celebrate Christmas. I'm really glad for working from home and cordless phones. I won't have to miss too much from work, and we'll be out from Christmas through New Years anyway.

I wonder if Vale Lipshy Hospital has wireless Internet, or at least a wired connection in the rooms? :)

On to the bad part of the day. The plastic surgeon said he doesn't want the hysterectomy to happen at the same time, and he would prefer if I go ahead and get it done now and have it healed well prior to the other surgery. We are planning to take the family to Indiana for Thanksgiving. In order to be well for that and feel good enough to enjoy it, that means hysterectomy in October.

Shit.

That's a hospital visit (anywhere from 2-5 days, depending on how they do the surgery), then a 6-8 week recovery.

Two surgeries. Two hospital stays. Two recovery periods. Missing work for two periods of time.

I realized tonight, as I practiced tonight in class for our purple stripe test Thursday, that I will have to suspend my training for even longer and starting in a couple of weeks. It hit me that this may well be my last belt test for a good six months or so. I'm actually pretty dang sad about it.

When I had a good two months before surgery, I was keeping a pretty good handle on things and being 'positive'. The idea that I might have to have surgery in a few weeks AND in a couple of months hit me like a ton of bricks.

Thank God my 'talking doctor' (that's what Matthew calls our psychiatrist) upped my Zoloft, gave me an Ambien prescription, and said that we can even add back in Buspar if we need to. I'll need it.

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Comments

( 7 thoughts — Whatcha' think? )
maedb
Sep. 27th, 2006 01:52 am (UTC)
Aw come on! When they do the mastectomy, can't they reach down a little further and pull out the rest of the organs, too? I am using the same principle as when I pull a nose hair out, my toe curls. If those two things are connected, I don't see why the other two can't be. Jeezo-pete! You'd think they knew what they were doing, or some such other logical piece of rational thinking.

(Hang in. You'll get through it, no matter how long it takes or doesn't take. You'll come through the other side and you'll get your life back. I promise.)
misskerri
Sep. 27th, 2006 02:41 am (UTC)
Damn. Wish they'd do it all at once. That'd be fewer weeks of suffering (though I imagine the suffering would be greater...last December, I had a parathyroidectomy, and that's minor surgery compared to what you're about to go through, and it rendered me virtually useless for nearly a week).
semantique
Sep. 27th, 2006 03:37 am (UTC)
I wish I knew what the hell to say. I'm sorry this happened to you and so damn FAST. I think you are doing an amazing job at hanging in there. I think I would be flipping the fuck out personally.
oddharmonic
Sep. 27th, 2006 02:16 pm (UTC)
Wow. That's a lot to deal with.

My offer stands to cook for you when you're recovering -- we can work out transportation of the food your way.
nefri
Sep. 29th, 2006 08:05 pm (UTC)
astrology
This is Jupiter working through your chart... its a fortunate thing, a very good thing! relax and don't worry about work. Jupiter is with you now, and that is like having angels on your side. There is no better time for these things to happen. You will do very well now.
trshtwns01
Sep. 29th, 2006 08:32 pm (UTC)
Re: astrology
I'm just glad you show that it will pass. I can get myself through anything with the knowledge that it gets better. It's the story of my life - nothing bad can last forever and you always learn from it. I've finally come to a place where I know that there is nothing I can do about it and work will just have to deal with it. My next few months are dedicated to health, not work. :)

I did go out yesterday and get lots of 'hospital pajamas' - satin button-down two-piecers in cool prints and colors. Much better than those stupid hospital gowns, especially if anyone treks out to downtown Dallas to visit me *laugh*
nefri
Sep. 29th, 2006 10:01 pm (UTC)
Re: astrology
It most definatly will pass, and you will do well. There is no doubt in your chart, and astrology never lies, as far as I have seen in the last 20 years. Wrote more about this in a comment to you on my journal, in case you didnt see it.
( 7 thoughts — Whatcha' think? )